Honoured at AVAR 2014, and an anti-virus sing-song

Graham Cluley
Graham Cluley
@[email protected]

AVARIf you’ve never been to an AVAR (Association of anti-virus Asia researchers) conference then I can highly recommend it – some of the world’s leading security experts meet to discuss the latest technical developments in malware, and how to protect against them.

The conference takes place in a different country each year (in 2015 it will be in Vietnam), and over the years has seen many interesting technical papers from researchers across Asia and Australasia.

Last week I was honoured to give the keynote speech at the AVAR 2014 conference in Sydney, Australia.


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I don’t mind admitting that it’s somewhat daunting to find yourself in front of some of the biggest brains in the world of anti-virus software.

Oh well, I thought… I can always warm them up with a quick rendition of the anti-virus industry anthem?

What’s that? You didn’t know there was an official anti-virus industry song?

Here it is, as captured on video by Juha Saarinen and Stilgherrian who unfortunately had a video camera hidden about their person:

Graham Cluley sings The AntiVirus Industry Song

I’ll be honest with you – the audience participation on that particular occasion wasn’t stellar (we had another go at the closing panel), but at least I didn’t include the third verse about John McAfee’s uneventful retirement in Belize…

For those who are interested, here are the lyrics (which should be sung to the tune of “God Save the Queen”:

# Death to the virus hackers
We want to chop their knackers
Off with a knife

Make us victorious
Over the notorious
Polymorphic code is laborious
To Analyse #

Despite this terrible aberration, the generous delegates of the AVAR conference were kind enough to vote me “Best speaker” for which I am immensely grateful and humbled.

Righard Zwienenberg presenting Graham Cluley with an award at AVAR 2014
Righard Zwienenberg presenting Graham Cluley with an award at AVAR 2014

Thanks guys.

Photos credit: Andreas Marx, AV-TEST

Further reading: Read more about the AVAR 2014 conference in blog posts from Kaspersky Lab and AVG.

Graham Cluley is an award-winning keynote speaker who has given presentations around the world about cybersecurity, hackers, and online privacy. A veteran of the computer security industry since the early 1990s, he wrote the first ever version of Dr Solomon's Anti-Virus Toolkit for Windows, makes regular media appearances, and is the co-host of the popular "Smashing Security" podcast. Follow him on Twitter, Mastodon, Threads, Bluesky, or drop him an email.

2 comments on “Honoured at AVAR 2014, and an anti-virus sing-song”

  1. Coyote

    Although I already relayed this to you: congratulations (again)! Well deserved (although I did not listen I know you – as you are aware, I cannot resist puns – are worth your salt and after all, how you started is also relevant).

    As for the song, I love the lyrics. I'm glad (especially as I did not listen.. probably couldn't have heard it right either, given hearing problems) you suggested it be in the tune of God Save the Queen. Although the only version I am familiar with (or care to be familiar with, perhaps) is the version by the heavy metal band Anthrax (and no, that isn't why the hearing problems (the thought amuses me though)… just don't hear certain sounds and never have.. if only the sounds were politicians… alas)… I still can get the idea and I internally hear how the lyrics (above) would sound. Amusing lyrics and with that tune I can see how it is fun, too.

    As always, keep it up!

  2. Hasan

    Hi Graham! Congratulations! Thanks for video sharing I love the lyrics :)

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