Wanted: Can you speak Klingon? No time wasters please

Graham Cluley
Graham Cluley
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@gcluley

Pardon me for interrupting the normal stream of security-related stories here to ask something a little out of the ordinary, but I figured you folks wouldn’t mind.

Do you speak Klingon? Actually, most importantly, can you translate things into Klingon?

If so, you could be the person I’m looking for.

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This is a serious request.

So.. if you can translate things into Klingon please contact me, preferably attaching an example of your work, so I can work out if you’re the person I need.. or let me know if you can point me in the right direction of a good Klingon translator.

Genuine applicants only please. Thanks for listening, and there might be a Sophos T-shirt and other goodies in it if you help. :-)

Update: Some people have asked why I’m only offering a Sophos T-Shirt for the hard job of doing some Klingon translation. Let me reassure the successful applicant: there will be money in it for you.


Graham Cluley is an award-winning keynote speaker who has given presentations around the world about cybersecurity, hackers, and online privacy. A veteran of the computer security industry since the early 1990s, he wrote the first ever version of Dr Solomon's Anti-Virus Toolkit for Windows, makes regular media appearances, and is the co-host of the popular "Smashing Security" podcast. Follow him on Twitter, Mastodon, Threads, Bluesky, or drop him an email.

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