A message spread across social networks in the last day or two.
Have you seen page 46 of Apple’s (lengthy) terms and conditions for iOS 7?
It looks like whoever was writing Apple’s colossal terms and conditions document had a minor breakdown when they realised no-one was ever likely to read their words:
Oh you know what? This is page 46, nobody’s still reading this. I bet only about five people clicked to read the T&Cs in the first place – we might as well just say anything we like.
Tony on floor 5 of Apple HQ smells of sardines.
When someone sends a funny email around the offices we have to reply with iLaughed. It’s in our job description.
Remember that legal kerfuffle over Apple & Apple studios? Want to know how we fixed it? We bought The Beatles. We have the surviving ones come and sing to us for scraps. We’re looking at ways to reanimate the dead ones.
The canteen only sells apple products. Apples, apple juice, apple flapjacks, toffee apples. We get fired if we’re caught eating anything without apples in it. I’M ALLERGIC TO APPLES AND I’M ALWAYS HUNGRY.
We faked the moon landings. Did it in 2008, then brainwashed you all to believe it happened in 1969, just because we could. If anyone finds out I’ve leaked this information, I’ll be killed. But no one will ever, ever read this.
I’d love to tell you that this crazy rant really does exist in the iOS 7 T&Cs. The world would be a more wonderful place if it were true (although someone in Cupertino would surely be getting fired).
However, even though it’s a joke it *does* still make an important point.
99.99% of people don’t read the dull, ponderous, excessively wordy terms and conditions that many software and hardware manufacturers push upon us at installation time.
In our excitement to update our software, or try out a new gadget, we skip the one thing that could warn us that our private information is going to be shared in a way that we aren’t comfortable, or that our photographs might be added to a facial recognition service, or that our emails will be read by robots in order to provide context-sensitive advertising.
Everyone should be more diligent about checking T&Cs and ensuring that they are comfortable with them. If we all did that… who knows? Maybe we’d not only stumble across the occasionally humorous clause, but also see something that rings privacy alarm bells.
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