Ali versus Frasier. Holmes versus Moriarty. Road Runner versus Wile E Coyote.
History has recorded many mighty rivalries. And now, video comedy duo Cassetteboy are taking on Theresa May.
The reason? UK Home Secretary Theresa May’s attempt to push through an expansion of surveillance powers through the Investigatory Powers bill (dubbed the “Snoopers’ Charter” by its critics), which would give police and intelligence agencies the power to access web-browsing records and force internet companies to hold internet usage data for up to 12 months.
In a Cassetteboy’s latest video, snippets of speeches by May and her boss David Cameron are slickly edited to make a satirical point:
Here are the lyrics:
A new law is here
That causes decent people to live in fear
A new power that allows us to get
Your browsing history from the internet
But let’s not forget this will affect everybody
And it will protect nobody
But I can inspect anybody who disagrees with me
That’s why I want to spy
On everyone all the time
Some people say that’s fine
But every time you go online
Every email you sign
I’ll be watching you
And my message to the haters
I want your communications data
As our power will extend
Politicians and their friends
Can manipulate it for their own ends
Every text you send
Every Facebook friend
I’ll be watching you
Can’t you see?
Your mobile phones will all belong to me
Everyone you call, anyone at all
Every day, in every way
Theresa May and I will be watching you
We will look after you
Wherever you turn, we will be right behind you
We will not let you live in private
We will use everything at our disposal to find out about you, and your family
And we will never forget what we found.
This is my position, I don’t need reasonable suspicion
But if you sign online petitions, expect the Spanish Inquisition.
Think of your own smart phone
It’s no longer a no-go zone
It’s under attack, because we will hack
All the technology you own
What can I see with these new abilities?
For me the answer is straightforward
It’s your supermarket rewards and your National Health Service records
It’s all the information you give to any corporation.
Every conversation, in every situation, every communication
Every website you use, everything you do
Every day, in every way
Theresa May and I will be watching you.
CassetteBoy are asking anyone concerned by the Snoopers’ Charter to visit the Privacy International website, where they can easily automatically generate an email to their home broadband provider asking them to oppose the bill.
We have more than snooping to worry about. We are already regarded as latent criminals by HMG. Take the Dart crossing. You are travelling to France by car without online connectivity. Your are charged £2.50 for the crossing but if you delay payment until after the end of the following day then you are fined £70 (£35 if settled within a fortnight). You are 78 years-old and driving to France for a few weeks holiday in the Dordogne. The conditions for those making the Dart crossing are not well-advertised and you are not a 'connected' person. I know about this now so its the Clacketts Lane route for me in future.
No doubt those who administer the Dart crossing congratulate themselves on their considerable business acumen, conveniently forgetting that they run a monopoly (this mindset goes for many CEs of government agencies) so they have their 'customers' over a barrel. I prefer to call it racketeering. As I said, we have more than snooping to worry about.
Haha very clever. You could use this technique to make politicians say anything you like, but this is a very long way from the truth. There are certainly things in the Investigatory Powers Bill that need to be improved but if you just defeat it you'll simply have the authorities doing their snooping under existing and much broader powers with precious little oversight.
I feel sorry for the saddoes who will have to rifle through all the rubbish looking for titbits of information that could possibly be considered "suspect". What a sad job that must be!